No More!

Past sunken,
sense resuscitated,
perturbed no more,
obstinate no more,
no more prejudgments.

Estranged guilt,
transient guilt.

Propensity to live,
perpetuates,
life too.

Undone.

I'll Miss You

Oh well, actually, this is my first writing.

Predicting the future, firm on void base, the result ov which eitherways be not pleasant.

I'll miss you

I'll miss you when you are not here.
With every skip of a heartbeat, I'll hear you!

I'll hear you calling, showing me a path,
I would love to go for, I wouldn't find you there,
Optimistic be I, that still be fair!

I'll hear you calling me, showing me a path
I would love to go for, I wouldn't find you there
for, the reality would be a stare!

I'll hear you calling me, showing me a path.
For the hope that I carry (to see you), fear would be Sabbath!

Stargazing I, a distanced tear, a self inflicted wrath.
For all it would be, a failure bypath!

I'll hear you calling me

I'll still hear u calling me, making me dream on a futureless bay.
Showing a light of a beholden dark ray!

Carrying the glow in my heart, scalded my steps,
be who you, wished a bless, bowed to your aspect.

I hear you calling me, promising me a way,
(dark) love ensured light,
I walked without a dismay.

Stumbled/Obstacle'd, grounded, my senses.
Reality harps a face,
clamant sky..,
Hollered eyes,
Deadened tears!

Ane!

Meaning one, one love, one world, one hope, one joy, one life and one tear. This is my first and the most closest (If there is an expression as such) writing to my hear. For me, this is my best writing and I can never anything better than this, contextually. Not because ov the usage of Urdu, but due to the hidden meaning behind, the message which explains that unique phenomena ov nature ov why it drizzles before it rains or say, the journey from a drizzle to Rain. I love rain, I love drizzles, hence this.


They adorn togetherness and cherish their oneness,
caducous a tear, a joyous caress!

Unke* rukhsaar* ke intezaar me guzar gaye wo rukh*,
jaane kaunsa lamha, kab raahat-ahkz* hoga!

Ane!!!!

Time for dusk*, the moment of rejoice!
Nature full of glow, a true hoyst*!

Dancing her, the delirious sky
That's all they wished, for their moment of joy!

Quickened fall*, no more rejoice
beg and plea, given no choice!

Rahat na rahi, na raha koi intezaar
Dheemi padgai ab, wo rahein absaar*

Realism killjoy,
"Dreams" Oh Boy!!
Why has to be the reality, that unfaithful envoy??

No more togetherness, relinquished of happiness
unsay those moments, close into abyss!



Indicators in order (those *s)

She and Him
Glow of "them"
Points, ways
Seize/take/grasp
Contextually "fall", rainfall"
Hoyst = hoist = raise
The speeding rain
Eyes


They = Angels, Their = (She and Him)'s, Ane= Their togetherness

Convolved

Those time, the beautiful time, an assurance to his lady love of the purity they hold and purity they will


Amidst thoughts and minds, we charier,
overlooking the truth, we'll end up nearer!

Still we are, in a state of blur,
but why to stress, its just so clear!

All the efforts and attempts not to face,
will leave us at a place, no rest, no solace!

Why this withstand? why this impatience?
oh my baby, we" are love's resemblance!

All these attempts, all the refuse
strikes a thought, "Leave me a bruise?"!

The scars won't heal, the pain won't mend,
ladies and gentlemen, our love has got no end!

The time we've spent, and what we've missed,
though-fought every bit, truth dismissed!

Its not gona help, neither gona flee,
our love my love, is of highest degree!

"I looove driving with you

"Its me, who is you"
"Look at me, its you"
"I told you, its not you"
"Look at you, that's me"

They love so much, they wish so much,
you love me I know, I love you too"


With hope that drew, us closer and closer,
moment by moment, instant by instant!

Lets quit trying, lets try not dying,
lots of them are still prying!

Sane will be we, sane will be our love,
our understanding and respect, as pure as a dove!

Lets love each other, lets not convolve,
I promise you my love, our love won't devolve!

I Wish

Wishes that arise off deep liking, off the deepest thoughts and the deepest mind. Overlooking the fact that liking might not necessarily be the one to hold your hand in despair but dismay, we still wish.

PS: I had to use couple ov lines (highlighted) from the song "Time ov your life" by Green Day, could not resist, billy writes his heart out.


Whats foreseeable is never right,
our surprisal time was such a delight.

Walking blindly on your path.


Just another phase ov life!
With happiness in plenty,
with arising need and love,
with time and fondness so much,
life never seemed so lively.


Just another corner ov life!

Moments we walked,
moments we kissed,
moments we hugged,
a new life every moment.


Just another form ov life!

Intense desires e'er living,
intense alikeness so growing,
intense warmth forever beaming,
life flies, in the air!


Just another smile ov life!

Never not agnise,
never not arise,
never-theless those "my" eyes,
life felt so secure.

So unpredictible, but was always right,
I hope you lived the time ov your live.

Yes, may be I was wrong,
may be I failed to sing a song,
yes, I could never be strong,
but never deserved a thorn.


How was I supposed to
Understand what you don't express
Read what you don't write
Hear what you don't speak
Feel what you don't gleam

As hence you expect,
a motherless son to feel her love.
As hence you presume,
to witness a burning water.
As hence you adjudge,
a free fish in aquarium.
As hence you foresee,
your deformation beyond the dark!


I wish sky wasn't blue!
I wish water wasn't wet!
I wish wind had direction!
I wish air wasn't bliss!
I wish so I din't love you!

Another face ov life!

Let me

In the times when you are so desperate to let your feelings out to explain, to such an extent that the stars don't shine anymore, that the sun refuses to let its light on you, and so forth. And hence a plead a chance to express.

Give me a chance
to let me express,
I've been denying
my heart every bless.

Give me a chance
and let me explain,
believe my lady
truthz unbeknown.

Why don't we talk?
Why don't we throw?
out the emotions
and deflect the woe.

I've been trying
I've been wondering,
why on earth
is my happiness plundering?

You gota believe me
You gota hear me,
for all the love we shared
we want it to be.

I've been denying,
my heart every bless,
I still wana wait
I know I can express.

A dawn shall rise
my dusk will set,
and when prejudice cries
your tears will sweat.

What Have I Done?

This one goes in a situation where the creature questions the creator about how and why he loses, so much so that he is lost and left with nothing but the love of some. The loss irreversible, the mind so confused and thoughts so off, that he complaint and begs for no more.

Why am I losing?
Why am I needing?
Why am I not holding?
Why am I not myself?

What have I done?
ripped off my happiness,
when I owned nothing
you denied everything,
Now I don't have anything
but still??
Am I the pawn in the game ov chess?

Why am I losing it all??

And still I lose, and I still I lose,
How much more be by question,
why so much suppression???

If there was a first ray of dawn,
it was her,
If there was a fresh breeze in despair,
it was her,
if there was a hope in this devoid life,
it was her,
If there was a light in the dark,
it was her,
if there was sense, in this worldly nonsense,
it was her,
if there was love, in the world full of hatred,
it was her,
if there was a meaning to my life, in all the mean times,
it was her,
If there was a hug to my needing arms,
it was her,
If there was a shoulder to my hues,
it was her,
If there was a smile ov my lips,
it was her,
If there was an eye to my tears,
it was her,
If there was a strength to my loss,
it was her,
if there was a life to death,
it was her.

When I lost her, I dint complain
When I was accused, I dint complain
When I was destroyed, I dint complain
When I was humiliated, I dint complain
When I was made to cry, I dint complain
When they were made to laugh, I dint complain
when they were made to blv I am weak, I dint complain
When they plotted and planned, I dint complain
When they played dirty, I dint complain
Even when they wrecked havoc, I dint complain

When she was mine, when everything was fine,
when we followed a perfect line,
when we walked, leaving a shine
then we smiled like a rainbow refine.

Weren't you always divine?
Will not you always be divine?
Is this the anger thine???

She was, thence denied!

No complaints, my forte pride.

Loyalty you expect, how much be my question,
I always strive, and so did my confession,
and still why, so much ov suppression?

And still I lose, and I still I lose,
How much more be by question,
why so much suppression???

You snatched my soul,
You snatched my being,
You saddened me to extremes,
You ripped my heart,
You embarassed me,
You snatched even her,

no complaints, my forte pride!

And still I lose, and I still I lose,
How much more be by question,
why so much suppression???

How and why would you expect me to be quiet??

Neither have I asked you to prove your worth,
Nor have I asked you to vent your anger,
Neither I ever dared to question your might
Nor have I dreamed of life without acknowledging your oneness,
Neither I've ever not remembered you,
Nor I've planned not to,
Neither I've asked none to part their ways from your way,
Nor I've done it myself,
Neither I've not bowed down to you in worship,
Nor I've failed to ask you for help
Neither I've asked none but you,
Nor I will ask none but you


And still I lose, and I still I lose,
How much more be by question,
why so much suppression???

And even then,

When I was learning to love, you crippled my heart
When I was dreaming the lovely nights, you blackened my vision
When I was gazing at the twinkles, you obscured the stars
When I was learning to talk, you quietened me
When I was learning to hear, you quiescent the sings
When I was learning to witness, you vanished the signs
When I was loving the bloom, you brooded the thorns
When I was needing her love, you left me bleeding

and

When I was waiting, you kept me waiting and waiting
and waiting
and waiting

And for all that I deserved,
you just let me breathe 17,
as if my life was supposed to be,
the one unseen.

And still I lose, and I still I lose,
How much more be by question,
why so much suppression???

I still need her to be with me,

need her to be with me,
need her to smile at me
need her to swear at me,
need her to cry with me,
need her to laugh at me,
need her to talk to me,
need her to walk with me,
need her to lie to me,
need her to smile at me,
smile at me,
smile at me,
smile at me,
and
smile at me...

Where my God?
where??
Why??
When??
When??
Why??
Why??
Please, please please, P L E A S E!